Christmas Day

Children at Christmas time are so wonderful.  They smile all day, fight over toys, tell you this is the best Christmas ever 20 times, basically they make it all worth it!

They may cry or say the wrong thing when they open the present that is just not right, but even the rudest kids can make you smile on Christmas.

It is days like today that make me wonder what ny life would be like if it weren’t for Babe and the Babies coming into my life.

I had a great Christmas.  The boys ended up cleaning up; Babe and I couldn’t get them much, but they got great gifts from everyone else!

We got them a few things and then of course we had a Special Angel, that sent us a PSP (THE gift this Christmas), so Santa did a good job also!

They boys even got to see the M-Word, they got some great gifts from her loaded parents, as did she I hope.  I confirmed the bOObs today.  Hopefully, her parents paid for it, I would hate to think that her mind was really that shallow.  She complains about being two months behind on her rent and how she can’t afford any childsupport.

Well I am not letting her rain on my parade…she’s not the one that got 5 “I love you hugs” before bed!

Officially Official

Sugar asked me if he could call me mom, tonight.  It was just me, him and Teddy Bear, watching National Treasure.  Then he popped out with “Since Dad is Dad and you are the other one can I call you Mom?”

As you may have read, he has done it before but it was always when he wanted something or when he was describing me to someone else as in “that’s my ___”.  But never specific and most of the time just a reaction.

This usually only happened when other kids were around their moms and I just figured it was ‘cause he was uncomfortable that his wasn’t around.  I mean let’s face it kids do not usually end up with their father’s, so all the other kids at the park are usually with their moms.

All of this has kinda been happening over the past two months.  The first time he even slightly uttered the word in my direction was September 19^th.  I love my boys; Teddy Bear excepted me a lot sooner, so I guess this mile marker is special.  Teddy Bear needed a Mommy, but Sugar never seemed to; so I know that he wants me to be his mommy.

That makes me feel very special.

Single Dad?

Picture this….I am running late for the parent conferences.  I had purposely left Babe the car (we only have one; I KNOW RIGHT). I purposely did this because I was afraid I would not make it.  I was doing an assessment of a plant.  My employer is perfect willing to lone me one of the company vehicles (the economy has caused an excess of these, if you get me and that way they don’t have to pay me mileage, which I am sure works in their favor).

I walk into Teddy Bear’s conference and I hear “I am a single dad, I don’t get any help from his mother” (gasp sigh tear).  This from the man who when the boys come back from their mothers with all the wonderful things she ahs bought them says “they know who loves them”, this from the man who cuddles and tells me that I am the best thing that ever happened to him and his boys.  This from the man who tells me that no matter what I am their mother (he says this as pillow talk I think; never in front of the babies).  This from the man who’s boys I have been helping to raise from the ages of 3 and 4; the same boys that I have known for more than half of their lives.

How dare he!!!

It hit me hard.  Is he really a “single” parent?  We are not married, but he is not doing it on his own.  He stays home with the boys sure, but can a married stay at home mom call herself a single mom? Who’s income allows him to stay at home with the boys!

MINE!!!

I am writing it off as one of those insensitive man things that boys do sometimes and I did forgive him, but geez…I may not be the “real” mom, but I not only support them financially in every way but I spend time with them too.  I think I am the perfect working parent, I understand on the weekends that he had a week of homework, playing, arguing, and kid talk, so I give him a break and take the kids to the park or some form of fun (I actually enjoy it), before starting on my homework (mba).

I just want to take a minute to pat myself on the back.

“Caribel, you are doing a wonderful job!”

Bio mom?

I had resigned myself to a life with the boys and Babe along time ago, figuring even if I ever wanted a child/children of my own that it just was not in the cards.

Babe was fixed after Teddy Bear came along.

I loved them so much that I thought that it would never matter.

I know that he can get a reversal, but Babe is one of 3 boys and he has 2, his brother has 2, and admittedly his other brother has 3 girls.  This is just statistically not enough X chromosomes for me.

Not that I wouldn’t want another son, but I already have 2 and I want a little princess.  There is far too much testosterone in my home already.

I have considered adopting, but I really want a 1 or 2 year old, but as far as I can see through research most of them have extreme medical problems.  I think those who could take on a child like this are angels, but the boys have been through enough and should not have to compete with a sick child also.  Besides we do not have the money to support a child with special needs.

Well, a friend of a friend got pregnant and did not want to keep the baby.

This got me thinking, I do have the finances to raise another child, but I do not have the finances to go through an adoption.  I may be sounding ignorant here, but could she just give me the baby, with a little paperwork and filing fees or is it a lot more complicated than that?

Also, how do you bring it up and how do you say, “Well I only want them if they are girl.”

I really wish that this situation hadn’t happened, because it reminded me that although I never wanted children till I was at least 30 (blew that out the window at 25 and they were already 3 and 4) I did always want at least one girl and I still do.

Somebody's throwing a pity party and I'm not going!

Well, I got over my peevedness about the M-Word wanting to use my memories scrapbook (see previous blog). So, I sent her some pics of the boys at the lake and playground this weekend, I figured so what the boys will knoe they went with me when she is showing them her scrapbook.

Here is the response that I received back:

"I appreciate you sending those pics to me, I do miss the boys even though I am sure by now what I say means nothing to you guys. It hurts my heart though to look at the pics at the same time makes me smile to see they are happy and you guys do things with them. But I see they are moving on and probably don't think of me much anymore. I haven't been around to see anyone I am working 7 days now.
Tell them to email me if they have time and send them kisses for me please."

I just don’t understand emails like this. All she has to do is show up! There are plenty of parents who work a lot and they still manage to see their children. She just can’t be bothered and then when she realizes what she is doing she feels bad and makes excuses. I am sure these excuses work on her friends and family, but I know that she did not show up when she did not have 2 jobs, except back then her excuse was because she hated babe.

With all of this said I know in her own way she loves the boys, butI think they are more of a novelty to her. She just pulls them out when she needs an ego boost or to make her parents believe she is trying.