Christmas crazyness

We went to visit Babe’s parents for Christmas.  They live in another state and it was so beautiful.  I was hoping that the boys would see snow, but it didn’t happen.  There where hills and the leaves were red, gold, yellow, and orange.  It was exciting although my pseudo father in-law preached to me about how we were never going to get financially stable until we became right with God!

 

He means {da da duuuuun} God won’t bless us unless we are married.  Humf, I understand his issue, but I could have done with out the hour long lecture on how his boys were raised and so on etcetera.

 

Is it really that big a deal…I know God loves me and is grateful that I am in the boys’ lives, besides Babe’s Mom was pregnant when they got married, just like the boys’ mother.  Not to be conceded but if anyone is a bad influence on the boys it is not me!

 

The worse part was Babe kept walking around the house and then he went to bed.  I counld not have been more obvious with the “save me eyes”!!

 

The trip was fun though, they live in a rural area and the boy’s got to go on a hike with their dad and meet and meet their distant cousins and great aunts and uncles.  Babe hadn’t even seen that side of his family in years.  All in all it was a good trip.  The boys were even good on the two 10 hour car rides.

Teddy Bear feels yucky.

Teddy Bear was sick today L. And now they won’t let him go to school tomorrow either, there goes my work week). Why oh why did he never get sick in preschool, but it seems to happen all the time now.

I took him to the doctor, but there mother’s insurance has a $1000 deductible (thanks for mentioning that) and I was going to have to pay $135. I didn’t have it unfortunately, but he was only running a low grade fever.

Although, it was embarrassing the doctor’s assistants were very nice. They told me there was really nothing they could do anyway and said to give him some children’s Tylenol and lay him down for a nap. Hope the little guy feels better soon.

So she can play this game too.

The M-Word has a blog too. It is interesting to read and I feel like a cyber stalker but, oh well. It is interesting how things have changed.




Here is a post from June 24, 2004 (about 2 months after Babe and I started dating.  I changed the names to protect the childish, including me):


Well, things are good, Lil’Boy and I have been together about 5 months now, and he is so great! At first we fought a little, but lately we are always happy to see each other and he is super with the boys. Better dad than their biological father, he is an ass. He stopped paying me child support and I wont let him see the boys until he decides to pay me again. I truly hate their dad, I wish he would just jump in front of a bus. But hey what can you do? I got a new job, serving. I always go back to it. I guess I am meant to do it. Hopefully within the year I will be married. Cross your fingers for me!


[it's Caribel here] by the by, he only did not pay her once and it was because he changed jobs other than that he gave her 250 a week, worked 7 days a week and had the boys at least 3 nights a week! The child support was not court ordered he paid her because that is what she said she needed. Oh yeah and she has paid no support in the 2 years they have been with us.  Also, she was still married to Babe at the time, but yet she crossing her fingers that she will be married to the barely 18 boy who would have just graduated high school had he not dropped out.  She was 23 back then.




Now here is one from today, (oh how the tables have turned):


My boys. I have not been the best of mom's to them. I am going to make it up to them. They don't see me like they used to and it scares me. I probably made a big mistake by letting them go live with their dad. If I dont see them it doesn't hurt as bad b/c out of sight out of mind, right? Well, I have been looking at lots of pics [That I sent her] and stuff recently and now I am hurting. Sugar doesn't even like me, and he is 6 in October. I don't want him to like Caribel Renee more than he does me. Boys need their moms. I am so confused by my life and the paths I have chosen. They are a big part of why I dont want anymore kids. I would feel horrible doing that to them.




[I’s me again] We’ll see.  It was not a mistake for her to send the boys to their father, because he saw the at least 3 times overnight per week when the “lived” with her.  She shows up maybe once a month and she hasn’t had them overnight in a year!

the boys first day

so, it was the boys first day of kindergarten.  i never understood why this was such a big deal.

WELL NOW I KNOW.

this morning was the most gut wrenching experience i have ever had.  so many thoughts went through my head.

“ARE THE GOING TO BE OK”

“WILL THEY BE POPULAR”

“WILL THEY BE PICKED ON”

“WILL THEY BEHAVE”

“HAVE I PREPARED THEM”

“PLEASE LET THEM REMEMBER THEIR ABC’S”

“PLEASE DON’T LET THEM HAVE ANY ACCIDENTS”

“CAN THEY HANDLE THIS”

“CAN I HANDLE THIS”

no phone calls so far, but what if they are just mildly freaking out so the teachers don’t want to worry me.  i miss them even though i do not normally see them now anyway.  i want to be there holding their hands.  the babies have been in the same class since teddy bear was 4.  we were asked if we wanted them in the same class, but for the poor teacher's sake we said no.  i wish we could have given them a trial period.  i am sad that they are alone.