Sugar is a very logical and smart kid. Not that he doesn't have an imagination, because he does, but in real life situations he is very matter-of-fact. If Babe is lecturing him about listening to me he might say "you need to respect Caribel Renee like you would me or your mommy."
And sugar would say, "Caribel’s not my mom." He is not being mean, just factual.
Well today, he did it, Sugar called me MOMMY! We were at the store and he was asking for candy but..........
I DON"T CARE I AM SOOOOOOO DAMN HAPPY
I would feel bad, but I am over it. I have read a lot of blogs and articles that say that it is bad for the kids to call their step/pseudo mom “MOM”. I understand that it can be hurtful to their “real” mom, but I didn’t ask them to, I didn’t force them to, they chose to.
And I love them even more than I ever thought I could.
Ok, so this is the mail the boys received from their mother yesterday.
“Hi boys, how are you today? I would like you to ask Caribel Renee to please send me any pics she has of you, I am trying to start keeping better scrap book of the family. When she has time, thanks!
Are you learning anything in school? Did you make a lot of new friends?
I love you”
I am glad that she is attempting to write them more often, but do you really think that it is appropriate for her to ask for Babe and my memories to put in her “family” scrapbooks. It makes my feel a little violated. Sugar said it best “why doesn’t she pick us up and take her own pictures.”
She did see them last weekend, but I have a feeling that was more of her father’s idea, because he travels a lot and happened to be in town. Before that it had been since August 12th. I just wish she would stop spending time and money on scrap booking and either pay some child support or come and see the boys.
Fortunately, for many of you out there you only have one set of in-laws. I have two, my pseudo in-laws, Babe’s parents, and my SUPER pseudo in-laws the boys other grandparents.
This is difficult, Babe’s parents are ok they do not try and butt in much, except they want us to be married and mention it every time we see or talk to them. And Babe’s mom was like super woman, working and keeping the house spotless and a good cook to boot. It is a lot to live up to and I am no where close.
The mom’s mom, however, always makes me feel that nothing is good enough. We were late to one of the 2 baseball games that she attended and she said “if I were the coach I wouldn’t let them play, it’s not fair to the other kids” Geez Louise, it was t-ball. Maybe I am being unfair everyone should be able to take some criticisms and she does give good advice, but she was able to stay home with her daughters and didn’t have to rush home from work throw on uniforms and run out the door! Also, it is hard for me to take parenting criticisms from some one who raised the boys’ selfish brat of a mother (oops I have to stop that).
Is it too much to asked to be contacted a week in advance if they want to pick up the boys (their mother and grandparents are guilty of this)? We never get an email before Friday and we never get a call period for them to get them on one of the weekend days. Never overnight mind you neither their mother nor grandmother wants them for that long, their mother will do it but only when we ask and then beg, which isn’t often.
Wow! I went off on a tangent, well back to the 2 sets of in-laws thing. It is difficult; both sets seem to call me although that has been changing lately since I stopped answering the phone. I like chatting, but I always feel fake. You know even when I am having a bad day I don’t like to worry Babe’s mom and I just want the mommy’s mommy to think all is perfect and heavenly. I noticed that Babe does the same thing though. Well I hope that you never have to impress 2 sets of in-laws, it is exhausting. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
Well my sister, babysat the boys overnight last weekend. They misbehaved a little bit or a lot I don’t know I wasn’t there. They have their good days and bad days, but for the most part they are good kids. They are loud and rough sometime, but hey they are boys and they are perfect in everyway in my eyes.
Well back to my point, I called my sis to see how they were doing and she was like well they did this and that, nothing horrible. I made the joke that this would be good practice and she said….
“My kids won’t be like this!”
I am sorry, but “ouch” that stung a little. I guess I can’t expect everyone to except their wonderful little faults as much as I do. She did backtrack and say that she meant her kids would not be so close in age and she was seriously thinking of only having one now, but I’m sure she meant what she said. But I think she will be surprised her and I are 3.5 years apart and we were no picnic let me tell you.
I guess that the boys’ mother has decided that she actually wants to be a mother to be a mother… kinda. She took them for like three hrs last weekend and wrote them an email. She told Sugar Bear that she would start seeing them more often but we have not heard from her since. I know that she will still only see them every two weeks if that, but I hate that she is going to disappoint them.
