Somebody's throwing a pity party and I'm not going!

Well, I got over my peevedness about the M-Word wanting to use my memories scrapbook (see previous blog). So, I sent her some pics of the boys at the lake and playground this weekend, I figured so what the boys will knoe they went with me when she is showing them her scrapbook.

Here is the response that I received back:

"I appreciate you sending those pics to me, I do miss the boys even though I am sure by now what I say means nothing to you guys. It hurts my heart though to look at the pics at the same time makes me smile to see they are happy and you guys do things with them. But I see they are moving on and probably don't think of me much anymore. I haven't been around to see anyone I am working 7 days now.
Tell them to email me if they have time and send them kisses for me please."

I just don’t understand emails like this. All she has to do is show up! There are plenty of parents who work a lot and they still manage to see their children. She just can’t be bothered and then when she realizes what she is doing she feels bad and makes excuses. I am sure these excuses work on her friends and family, but I know that she did not show up when she did not have 2 jobs, except back then her excuse was because she hated babe.

With all of this said I know in her own way she loves the boys, butI think they are more of a novelty to her. She just pulls them out when she needs an ego boost or to make her parents believe she is trying.

New Park!

I am sitting at this new park I found. It is great the boys have a lake to swim in or the can play on the playground or there is a miny water park for $1 a person! This is great I am so happy about our move!
But why do boys play in the weeds.  I was a tomboy with the best of them, but I hate late weeds....They hoped in them looked for minoes....It was gross, but I felt peer pressured in to wading in with them.  It is sad that I feel peer pressured by my boys.  I haven't quite decided if that means I still have a childs spirit or it I am one of those pathetic parents who just wants their kids to think they are cool.  Oh, well I guess I should get use to gross stuff.....except bugs...yuck!

Mommy squared!

Sugar is a very logical and smart kid.  Not that he doesn't have an imagination, because he does, but in real life situations he is very matter-of-fact.  If Babe is lecturing him about listening to me he might say "you need to respect Caribel Renee like you would me or your mommy."

 

And sugar would say, "Caribel’s not my mom." He is not being mean, just factual. 

 

Well today, he did it, Sugar called me MOMMY! We were at the store and he was asking for candy but..........

 

I DON"T CARE I AM SOOOOOOO DAMN HAPPY

 

I would feel bad, but I am over it.  I have read a lot of blogs and articles that say that it is bad for the kids to call their step/pseudo mom “MOM”.  I understand that it can be hurtful to their “real” mom, but I didn’t ask them to, I didn’t force them to, they chose to. 

 

And I love them even more than I ever thought I could.

 

Baseball??

I missed the boys' first t-ball games!  I had good reason, one of my bestests got married today.  The wedding was beautiful and I wouldn't have missed it for the world, still part of me wishes I had magic powers (2 places at once, time travel, ya know whatever).  That is one thing I didn't realize I needed as a pseudo stepmom, super powers.  The other thing, I mean, that I didn't realise you needed was money.  But what can you do I fell in love with 3 guys at once!  Now I now how playas feel....I'm barrrrroke.   But don't they look cute in their uniforms....Awwwwww.

Marriage??

So, I really don't want to get married anytime soon...it has nothing to do commitment (I know I'm stuck with these three). It is just that I'm lazy and don't feel the need, however, I feel awkward sometimes. The other day at baseball practice (we live right outside of the capital of rich, stay at home moms) a gorgeous, personal trainer, blonde mom was talking to me and I don't remember the question, but it ended in me saying, "oh, um, I, uh, am their stepmom.” Which lead to "How long have you been married," and God forgive me...I lied "oh, about a year." Is it bad to be embarrassed by something you really don't care about? Afterwards I was like "why did I lie, I could have said I'm their guardian or I don't know?" I truth is I really wasn't embarrassed of the situation, but how it sounds or society or whatever...maybe I will use Pseudo Mom from now on. Yep, that'll work!