Now a non-custodial pseudomom…but not the normal way

Babe, met a woman about a month ago.  She has a job and lives in a nice house…blah blah blah.  Well long story short he took the boys and is now living with her.

Our relationship had been over for a long while, but I would have stayed with him forever to raise my boys.  Now some other woman will get to tuck them in and say their bedtime stories and help them with their homework.  I would love to say that I was not dying right now, but I am.

I love my boys.  Babe says that I am still the closest thing that they have to a mom and that I can see them whenever I want, but I do not even get to know where they live, because the new woman knows I hate her and I guess thinks I would slash her tires or something (as if I would be that stupid).

I actually feel that this woman has done me a favor, but that doesn’t mean that I like females who act like they are your friends when they are really trying to take your family.

He holds all the cards and I have to behave myself.

Single Dad?

Picture this….I am running late for the parent conferences.  I had purposely left Babe the car (we only have one; I KNOW RIGHT). I purposely did this because I was afraid I would not make it.  I was doing an assessment of a plant.  My employer is perfect willing to lone me one of the company vehicles (the economy has caused an excess of these, if you get me and that way they don’t have to pay me mileage, which I am sure works in their favor).

I walk into Teddy Bear’s conference and I hear “I am a single dad, I don’t get any help from his mother” (gasp sigh tear).  This from the man who when the boys come back from their mothers with all the wonderful things she ahs bought them says “they know who loves them”, this from the man who cuddles and tells me that I am the best thing that ever happened to him and his boys.  This from the man who tells me that no matter what I am their mother (he says this as pillow talk I think; never in front of the babies).  This from the man who’s boys I have been helping to raise from the ages of 3 and 4; the same boys that I have known for more than half of their lives.

How dare he!!!

It hit me hard.  Is he really a “single” parent?  We are not married, but he is not doing it on his own.  He stays home with the boys sure, but can a married stay at home mom call herself a single mom? Who’s income allows him to stay at home with the boys!

MINE!!!

I am writing it off as one of those insensitive man things that boys do sometimes and I did forgive him, but geez…I may not be the “real” mom, but I not only support them financially in every way but I spend time with them too.  I think I am the perfect working parent, I understand on the weekends that he had a week of homework, playing, arguing, and kid talk, so I give him a break and take the kids to the park or some form of fun (I actually enjoy it), before starting on my homework (mba).

I just want to take a minute to pat myself on the back.

“Caribel, you are doing a wonderful job!”

My kids won't be like this!

Well my sister, babysat the boys overnight last weekend. They misbehaved a little bit or a lot I don’t know I wasn’t there. They have their good days and bad days, but for the most part they are good kids. They are loud and rough sometime, but hey they are boys and they are perfect in everyway in my eyes.

Well back to my point, I called my sis to see how they were doing and she was like well they did this and that, nothing horrible. I made the joke that this would be good practice and she said….

“My kids won’t be like this!”

I am sorry, but “ouch” that stung a little. I guess I can’t expect everyone to except their wonderful little faults as much as I do. She did backtrack and say that she meant her kids would not be so close in age and she was seriously thinking of only having one now, but I’m sure she meant what she said. But I think she will be surprised her and I are 3.5 years apart and we were no picnic let me tell you.