I like my worst enemy.

On April 8, 2002, my best friend, Red, married Venezuelan Punk Star.  Their marriage wasn’t exactly a happy one.  They loved each other for a while, but then it just seemed to teeter off.  They weren’t unhappy, just not HAPPY HAPPY.

Red and I were friends with Heartbreaker for a long time; in fact she caught the bouquet at Red and VPS’s wedding.  As Red and VPS grew further apart, Heartbreaker and VPS grew closer.  First bonding over their unhappy relationships and then becoming good friends.

Obviously, even though Red did not love VPS anymore, her friend’s growing friendship with her husband bothered her.  Knowing this VPS and Heartbreaker agreed to spend less time together.  Then one night, Red came home to VPS and Heartbreaker sitting up chatting after a friendly get-together.  The only problem was that it was now 4:30 AM.  Admittedly, they were not doing anything wrong, but it was still a slap in the face to Red.

She moved out.

A couple of times Heartbreaker tried to talk to me about “what if”, meaning what would happen if her and VPS got together.  I told her that if she wanted to remain my friend then she would keep it a secret from me.  My friend dating an “important EX” would be my worst nightmare.  I mean, at least there would have to be years in between.  It feels like your friend steeling your memories.  Red and VPS were happy once and they had all of those little cute things and now her friend was thinking of having all of those little cute things too.

Well, of course, VPS and Heartbreaker started dating.  I hated them for it.  It just feels so wrong.  I could never think of my friend’s husband in that way, Divorced or Not.  My friends are like family and it just feels very incestual to me.

Well it has been about 3 years now.  My sister became closer friends with Heartbreaker, because her fiancé and VPS are close friends.  I have always missed Heartbreaker, as we were really good friends and recently I have been forced to choose between my convictions (hating her) and seeing my sister under pleasant circumstances.

I still like her and I want to be friends.  Red lives very far away and we are still and will always remain best friends.  I am just so afraid that if I openly rekindle Heartbreakers and my friendship, Red will be crushed.  I don’t want her to think that I am abandoning her.  I hate this situation!

I love my Red…