mommy!?

i have always wondered how i would feel if the boys ever called me mom.

 

when i met babe the boys lived with the m-word.  he saw them a lot, but i was not permitted to meet them until we had been dating for a month and he was fairly certain that i would be around awhile.

 

over the next 6 months or so, babe worked very hard at making sure that i was not left alone with the boys.  it wasn’t that he did not trust me, but he did not feel that the m-word should use me as a baby sister if he was not available (which she tried).  we slowly but surely i became a bigger part of their lives until one day the m-word decided that the boys would be better off with their father.

 

babe and i did not live together at the time (however we did live across the street in separate apartment complexes).  i would help him get the boys to school and pick them up and my role as a parent was starting to develop.

 

four months after babe got sugar and teddy bear we all moved in together into my one bedroom apartment.  at this point the m-word just stopped showing up, not completely mind you, but she would only come once a month or so.  she was still keeping them over night at this point, but that soon teetered off also.  she goes through phases where she will not see them for 2 months and then she will see them every other week and back again.

 

teddy bear took this really hard; sugar has always been daddy’s boy, but babe and the m-word separated when teddy bear was still a baby.  admittedly sugar was not much older, but babe was the one that rocked him to sleep and put him to bed, while them m-word went out and enjoyed a fun filled single lifestyle.

 

teddy bear called me mama every once in a while when his mom had not been around fr a month or two, but as soon as she showed up again it would end.  he also used it more as a term of endearment (i.e. i call him teddy bear when i am tickling or cuddling and not all the time).

 

well, last night after the boys came home from their one day this month with the m-word, babe passed out in the recliner and i was watching a chick flick with the boys (hey soon i will never get to watch them with 3 men around).

 

teddy bear started to cuddle and he said…

 

“i love you, mommy”

 

at first, i thought it was a mistake, but he repeated it over and over in a playful way.

 

“mommymommymommymommy”

 

i was in shock! i was so happy! but then reality set in.  should i stop this.  would them m-word make a big deal about it or would she even know?  we have never told the boys to call me mom, or anything other than my first name.

 

when the boys still lived with the m-word, sugar came to babe’s apartment and said “mommy says lil’boy (the m-word’s young boyfriend) is my new daddy.”  this hurt babe and we explained to him that lil’boy was not his new daddy, because daddy is right here.  we also told him that his mommy should not be telling him to call lil’boy daddy.

 

we have lived by this rule, but should we discourage it, if they make the choice?  he was still using it as an endearing term, but before he distinguished between the 2 of us “mommy vs. mama”

 

i guess i will just go with the flow unless anyone out there has any suggestions.