Sick Baby :(

Teddy Bear was throwing up from 9PM to 1:30PM tonight (this morning, whatever). I felt helpless. Babe went out and got medicine, but the little guy kept going….every 15 minutes.

We tried to contact the M-Word…cause although she says they are on her insurance now we have never actually seen the cards and we wanted to go armed to the E-Room with more than, “I dunno.” However, we haven’t heard from her in a week and half so we know how well our calls were received, as in they weren’t. If she called us at 12 and then 1 AM, I think we would answer, even if she didn’t have the kids. We would know it was important.
Well, we were giving him the medicine every 15 minutes (as the instructions said). We also gave him a little water, cause even good tasting medicine still tastes like medicine.

Well, since we weren’t sure about the insurance (forget love, we should get married just so I can get the boys on my insurance), we decided to call the E-Room to make sure we were not jumping the gun. And you know what…it turns out that when a kid it throwing up you’re not supposed to give them liquids. Oops…we’ll know next time I guess.

Every time we were letting him have water to wash the meds down…it came back up.

Again…Woops

He is sleeping now, but he is talking in his sleep, so I know he still doesn’t feel yummy.

10 things I am thankful for:

1.    Falling in love

2.    My pseudo family

3.    The rest of my family

4.    My wonderful friends

5.    My dog Gracie

6.    My pseudo inlaws telling me how much better I am then their most recent daughter inlaw

7.    Happy holiday memories

8.    Life throwing me curves

9.    Insomnia (it’s the only way to get anything done)

10. Waking up this morning to the beautiful, cool, sunshiny day that it was.

I like my worst enemy.

On April 8, 2002, my best friend, Red, married Venezuelan Punk Star.  Their marriage wasn’t exactly a happy one.  They loved each other for a while, but then it just seemed to teeter off.  They weren’t unhappy, just not HAPPY HAPPY.

Red and I were friends with Heartbreaker for a long time; in fact she caught the bouquet at Red and VPS’s wedding.  As Red and VPS grew further apart, Heartbreaker and VPS grew closer.  First bonding over their unhappy relationships and then becoming good friends.

Obviously, even though Red did not love VPS anymore, her friend’s growing friendship with her husband bothered her.  Knowing this VPS and Heartbreaker agreed to spend less time together.  Then one night, Red came home to VPS and Heartbreaker sitting up chatting after a friendly get-together.  The only problem was that it was now 4:30 AM.  Admittedly, they were not doing anything wrong, but it was still a slap in the face to Red.

She moved out.

A couple of times Heartbreaker tried to talk to me about “what if”, meaning what would happen if her and VPS got together.  I told her that if she wanted to remain my friend then she would keep it a secret from me.  My friend dating an “important EX” would be my worst nightmare.  I mean, at least there would have to be years in between.  It feels like your friend steeling your memories.  Red and VPS were happy once and they had all of those little cute things and now her friend was thinking of having all of those little cute things too.

Well, of course, VPS and Heartbreaker started dating.  I hated them for it.  It just feels so wrong.  I could never think of my friend’s husband in that way, Divorced or Not.  My friends are like family and it just feels very incestual to me.

Well it has been about 3 years now.  My sister became closer friends with Heartbreaker, because her fiancé and VPS are close friends.  I have always missed Heartbreaker, as we were really good friends and recently I have been forced to choose between my convictions (hating her) and seeing my sister under pleasant circumstances.

I still like her and I want to be friends.  Red lives very far away and we are still and will always remain best friends.  I am just so afraid that if I openly rekindle Heartbreakers and my friendship, Red will be crushed.  I don’t want her to think that I am abandoning her.  I hate this situation!

I love my Red…

Officially Official

Sugar asked me if he could call me mom, tonight.  It was just me, him and Teddy Bear, watching National Treasure.  Then he popped out with “Since Dad is Dad and you are the other one can I call you Mom?”

As you may have read, he has done it before but it was always when he wanted something or when he was describing me to someone else as in “that’s my ___”.  But never specific and most of the time just a reaction.

This usually only happened when other kids were around their moms and I just figured it was ‘cause he was uncomfortable that his wasn’t around.  I mean let’s face it kids do not usually end up with their father’s, so all the other kids at the park are usually with their moms.

All of this has kinda been happening over the past two months.  The first time he even slightly uttered the word in my direction was September 19^th.  I love my boys; Teddy Bear excepted me a lot sooner, so I guess this mile marker is special.  Teddy Bear needed a Mommy, but Sugar never seemed to; so I know that he wants me to be his mommy.

That makes me feel very special.

A different sort of Halloween

I took the boys to a festival.

 

It was great.  They had all sorts of things for them to do:

 

1. Trick or Treating (of course) at tents and businesses.
2. Bounce houses and slides
3. A wizard who looked oddly like the mall Santa (he is a really good Santa and a wizard for that matter, real beard and all).
4. characters to take pics with (tall scarecrow, Darth Vader, etc)
5. There was a carnival type area too, but it was EXPENSIVE!

 

There were all sorts of people in costumes; these two toddlers were dressed as McCain and Obama (it was priceless).  I really liked it!  I think I will take them there every year.  It was definitely better than the boring old walk around the neighborhood and had the added bonus that they were having so much fun that they did not get that much candy!

Single Dad?

Picture this….I am running late for the parent conferences.  I had purposely left Babe the car (we only have one; I KNOW RIGHT). I purposely did this because I was afraid I would not make it.  I was doing an assessment of a plant.  My employer is perfect willing to lone me one of the company vehicles (the economy has caused an excess of these, if you get me and that way they don’t have to pay me mileage, which I am sure works in their favor).

I walk into Teddy Bear’s conference and I hear “I am a single dad, I don’t get any help from his mother” (gasp sigh tear).  This from the man who when the boys come back from their mothers with all the wonderful things she ahs bought them says “they know who loves them”, this from the man who cuddles and tells me that I am the best thing that ever happened to him and his boys.  This from the man who tells me that no matter what I am their mother (he says this as pillow talk I think; never in front of the babies).  This from the man who’s boys I have been helping to raise from the ages of 3 and 4; the same boys that I have known for more than half of their lives.

How dare he!!!

It hit me hard.  Is he really a “single” parent?  We are not married, but he is not doing it on his own.  He stays home with the boys sure, but can a married stay at home mom call herself a single mom? Who’s income allows him to stay at home with the boys!

MINE!!!

I am writing it off as one of those insensitive man things that boys do sometimes and I did forgive him, but geez…I may not be the “real” mom, but I not only support them financially in every way but I spend time with them too.  I think I am the perfect working parent, I understand on the weekends that he had a week of homework, playing, arguing, and kid talk, so I give him a break and take the kids to the park or some form of fun (I actually enjoy it), before starting on my homework (mba).

I just want to take a minute to pat myself on the back.

“Caribel, you are doing a wonderful job!”

Bio mom?

I had resigned myself to a life with the boys and Babe along time ago, figuring even if I ever wanted a child/children of my own that it just was not in the cards.

Babe was fixed after Teddy Bear came along.

I loved them so much that I thought that it would never matter.

I know that he can get a reversal, but Babe is one of 3 boys and he has 2, his brother has 2, and admittedly his other brother has 3 girls.  This is just statistically not enough X chromosomes for me.

Not that I wouldn’t want another son, but I already have 2 and I want a little princess.  There is far too much testosterone in my home already.

I have considered adopting, but I really want a 1 or 2 year old, but as far as I can see through research most of them have extreme medical problems.  I think those who could take on a child like this are angels, but the boys have been through enough and should not have to compete with a sick child also.  Besides we do not have the money to support a child with special needs.

Well, a friend of a friend got pregnant and did not want to keep the baby.

This got me thinking, I do have the finances to raise another child, but I do not have the finances to go through an adoption.  I may be sounding ignorant here, but could she just give me the baby, with a little paperwork and filing fees or is it a lot more complicated than that?

Also, how do you bring it up and how do you say, “Well I only want them if they are girl.”

I really wish that this situation hadn’t happened, because it reminded me that although I never wanted children till I was at least 30 (blew that out the window at 25 and they were already 3 and 4) I did always want at least one girl and I still do.